OK to be #LNP

Age brings despair – with both politics and the greedy imbeciles running this stunted civilisation.

Lately, though, a faint joy gladdens Throsby’s heart, softening the grim chicanery passing for governance in this land of sweeping plains, a nation of weeping pains.

Drollery, like our Prime Minister’s munificent Lord, works in strange ways.

It might indeed be the workings of his rapturous overseer that planted in Throsby’s febrile brain a truth – long clear to veteran observers of Politics Down Under – that toings and froings, comings and goings, doings and dismantlings, at Sheep Station Central are not so much parliamentary happenings as they are a Theatre of the Absurd, a Pantomime de Ocker, or perhaps a wonderfully she’ll-be-right-mate-flavoured Aussie Kabuki.

Thus reinvigorated, mine eyes beheld, in this pleasant light, upon the grassy slopes, among the misty Canberran hills, a display of the finest Aussie stagecraft run by nothing more than a chisel of commonplace shysters.

More than OK to be White

The intrepid International Reader, casting an enquiring glance antipodean, will struggle with what follows. Is it not fake news, an April in October fools day prank, another mischief by The Chaser?

On Monday, October 14, one of this country’s most esteemed senators, Ms Pauline “Please Explain” Hanson – applauded by Islamists for insolently wearing a burqua into that august chamber – prepared to vote on her motion condemning “anti-white racism” (a catchcry you will recognise from white supremacist rhetoric). There is, it bemoaned, a “deplorable rise of anti-white racism and attacks on Western civilisation” and, therefore, we beseech the house to assert, “it is OK to be white.”

Bells rang, the senate chamber filled with pollies torn reluctantly from kleptocratic machinations, and a vote was taken. Whereupon right honourable senators of Liberal and Australian Nationals parties, comprising that most conservative of coalition governments, obligingly – to the utter astonishment of everyone else – voted, in unison, in the affirmative.

Chocolate icing on the pure white cake was the sight of one Lucy Gichuhi of black African descent voting in favour of “it is OK to be white.” She was joined in a spirit of camaraderie by Indigenous Affairs minister, Nigel Scullion, who administers the “affairs” of Australia’s native and hardly white Aboriginal peoples, all of whom no doubt enthusiastically supported his action, such being their guilt for so assaulting Western Civilisation by being conquered and colonised, and thereafter for so recklessly diluting British colonial bloodlines.

Opposition Labor, Greens, and crossbench senators defeated the motion 31 votes to 28 and the nation breathed a collective sigh of relief.

As a lawyer might drop misleading evidentiary suggestions while questioning a witness, then withdraw upon objection, days following the mischievous vote involved much back-pedalling and feigned innocence by assorted coalition spokestools, with an eventual reversion vote by its formidably astute senators.

“It was an administrative error,” they pleaded, that made us wander in like sheep and blindly vote simply because it opposes Labor and Greens, and we are happy ever so to do.

Prime Minister Scott Morrison said, “I found it regrettable,” but left unsaid that senators might at least have asked themselves, “What would Jesus do?”

“This is severely embarrassing… It is indeed regrettable,” intoned The Cormanator, Senator Matthias Cormann, whose appearance and accent so closely approximate Arnold Schwarzenegger, he has startled the house on more than one occasion.

Ms Gichuhi chose to confuscate her dark vote via Twitter, declaring her intention was: “no to white supremacy, no to black supremacy, but yes to human supremacy” – a tweet since confiscated.

The violently whipped cream on the chocolate icing on the white as driven snow cake was admission by the highest chiseller in the land, Attorney General Christian Porter, that a directive to support Ms Hanson’s proposition emanated from his office – after incisive and due consideration by his team of highly skilled – probably now former – interns.